


OHH DAMN NEVER SEEN THAT COLOUR…GREY

by Col_faridi (orphan_account)



Category: Cricket RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: Fluff, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I blame Rosetylars for this, I mean Pat's idiot Mitch, Idiots in Love, Magical Realism, Oblivious, Realisation of feelings, and our idiot Mitch, first time kissing, honestly that should be a tag, its all implied though, meddling friends and siblings, no idea what i am doing, probably because we love them, why is this revived now, why isn’t that a tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-02-26 22:14:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21618955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Col_faridi
Summary: He is Mitch Marsh, something stupid is bound to happen to him
Relationships: Mitch Marsh/Pat Cummins, Rebecca Marsh/Shaun Marsh, Tim Paine/Steve Smith
Comments: 27
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: the writer doesn't claim any scientific authority over this. all in all pretty sure it never happens like this.
> 
> This was supposed to be a one shot but then the plot bunny ran away. Haven't found it yet though.  
Partly the blame for this goes to @rosetylers who revived my poor #Pitch heart.
> 
> (look I haven't worked my ass off on this one, it just happened so if you lovelies find anything out of order do let me know.)

Synaesthesia: A condition in which one sense (for example, hearing) is simultaneously perceived as if by one or more additional senses such as sight.

* * *

* * *

It was traumatic they said. Well said. He was finding it all so hard. Just managing somehow. Rebecca proved to be a great help. Unlike his brother, as he had predicted. Shaun had made it all a big ass joke.

But that also was helpful in its own way. What initially seemed liked a daunting ordeal, Shaun with his lame jokes made something not that of a big deal. Something that he shouldn’t detest. Something that he can manage on his own.

It was all bloody interesting too if he was being honest with himself. Not every time. It’s not easy when one day you can suddenly see colours while people are speaking. Sound waves in colours or people just feeling or looking like colours. Weird with a capital W.

But he was trying his fucking best to adjust as much as he can.

For example with Austin. His beloved, cute, extremely intelligent unlike his father, nephew. With him he really enjoys experiencing his fucked up brain.

‘Not fucked up, just a rare condition’ he could hear his therapist go patiently in his head. Yeah whatever.

Back to Austin. And his trucks. About which he is most enthusiastic as any 2 year old. 

He can see the colours in waves whenever Austin speaks. Something pinkish orange. Like the sky at sunset. He is sure that there must be some particular name for that colour. But he is stupid and he doesn’t know. Nor does he want to.

He just loves to see that colour float and wrap around them when Austin says something. Becks said that he himself looks like a child with the kind of wonderment that’s on his face. But he truly loves Austin’s colours. They make him feel a sort of childish happiness. Carefree and comfortable.

Something like Rebecca’s magenta does. Sometimes. It’s very vivid like her favourite dress’ colour but doesn’t change shades like Austin’s. It’s just one dark shade of magenta but it increases or decreases in its vividness when she is angry.

Like yesterday when she shouted at Shaun for not folding the laundry. While he did enjoyed his brother getting berated, he was more enamoured by Becks’ colours. They looked inviting, dragging him to try and touch them.

But he knows how embarrassing that would be. He tried to do that when he first experienced. Not something he want to repeat in public. Maybe in private. But he can’t see his own colours. He gets a feeling but no colours. A feeling of separation and loneliness but that’s probably because that’s always been with him in recent times.

Though his family encouraged him to indulge in it in their own way. When he started to accept it. After making a lot of jokes in Shaun’s case and a heartfelt hug from the rest. And a sweet kiss and ‘it’ll be alright, Uncle Mitch’ from Austin too. Who didn’t knew why everyone was comforting his Uncle but wanted to do his bit.

His Pop’s all soft sunny yellow. Like his persona. Welcoming and indulgent, an English summer sun inviting you to bask in its glory.

His mum and Shaun are just colourful words. Or colours that come up in his mind. But he can’t see those colours around them when they speak.

Shaun declared it was because he loved Mum less and obviously hated his older brother who ‘always has been a silent supporter for his little brother’ but is only despised in return.

Shaun got a cushion in his face for that. And he got a hug from Mum. Who told him to embrace whatever he is experiencing one step at a time. And that it doesn’t matter if he can’t see some people’s colour. At least what he can see are making him happy, no?

But he wanted to see his Mum’s colours, wanted to know what his brain thinks of her. Didn't just wanted a colour name in his mind. And probably Shaun’s too even if to tell him that it was like colour of a bog- dirty and ugly with no happy feelings. Which he told to Shaun anyway.

It becomes very difficult when he goes out though. Which meant that his outings got limited to coffee runs very early in the morning or Shaun and Becks’ place or his parents. That too with dark shades.

Because it becomes nauseating when his brains is trying to process overload of colours, half of which he can’t even name. And only one episode of vomiting on the street was enough. Thankfully he can see colours of only those who talk to him, otherwise he probably would have gone mad already.

So now he is confined to his own place, dreading to go out most of the times. Trying to perfect the meditation skills his therapist taught him.

And where comes his biggest problem. His scheduled off days because of emergency were over and he was supposed to join his team mates from the next week. Most of whom didn’t knew about his new condition. Okay all of them didn’t.

He just didn’t wanted them to know, can hear the jokes and comments already. He is Mitch Marsh, something stupid is bound to happen with his stupid ass.

It wasn’t as if he actively went to get this weird and fucked up brain condition. He was happy as he was. He likes it somewhat doesn’t mean he wanted it. Fuck he didn’t even knew something like this could happen.

At least the guys knew that he was in an accident and knocked his head. Not his fault this time around, the driver was drunk. He did get a few messages asking and wishing well. But no one knew about the stupid thing. ‘It’s called synaesthesia’ his therapist voice in his head supplied unhelpfully.

Doesn’t matter. Fact is he don’t want to face them because he is not prepared to take any questions that they will have, if they come to know about it. Or the jokes.

Sighing, he picked his shades and prepared to go out. To Shaun’s place. Or his parent’s. He will decide in the car. He ended up at his parents.

Mum’s welcoming arms proved healing enough for his morose mood. He sat with her in the kitchen while she went on to prepare some sandwiches and tea for him because ‘you look like like you haven’t eaten in ages love’. Which was kind of true. His last proper meal was two days back.

So he accepted his mum puttering and huffing around to feed him, knowing full well he won’t be able to eat more than one. But mother’s love. So he silently indulged her, while listening to her tell some new tale about Austin’s hi-jinks with his Granpa. It was true, they went like a house on fire. Which was funny from a fairly outsiders perspective. Because he never has to clear up after those two children as Becks told him. True but still fun to experience.

* * *

* * *

It was not as horrifying as his mind had tried to make. But that was his mind and that’s how it worked. Negativity has been his long companion.

Nobody knew. Nobody guessed that anything was wrong with him. It was the general mayhem of a bunch of boys let loose in the field. Surprisingly Shaun behaved too in-front of others.

So all in all a successful first day of Ashes preps for him. If only the rest of the series could go like that. He hoped he hasn’t jinxed it by praying for something positive like so many times before.

But of course he did. Fucking fuck. Of course things will go to gutter. When did it ever happened that he prayed for something positive to happen in his life and it did? Never. Ohhh fuck.

He can still hear the question ringing in the room. The three occupants silent and not looking at each other. Well two of them. The third one was boring holes in his head.

“Mitch can do what now, Shaun?”

He heard Josh go again. Still the same degree of surprise and incredulity colouring his words. Colouring-funny saying that one.

One thing was sure, Josh won’t leave until he got his answer.

Time to come clean probably. But he still dreaded the consequences. He wanted to focus entirely on this series. If this thing becomes a hurdle he will never forgive himself. Or Shaun. Fucking asshole of an elder brother.

“I have a condition where I can see colours when someone speaks. Or can only think of particular colour when I think about them. Yeah.”

He tried to explain with precision, and finished lamely.

‘Go judge me Josh.’

“What?” His reply was entirely too confused.

Before he can try and explain again, he felt Shaun take a deep breath and start speaking.

“After his accident, his brain associates people and sound with colours. Some he can see, some he can think.”

Well that was succinctly put brother, he thought sardonically.

Josh’s reply took a long time to come but thankfully it was not what he was expecting.

“Okay. I won’t say that I understand but I guess it is what it is. I take it no one else knows?”

He just shook his head in negative, fearing the next part.

“And you want to keep it that way I suppose?”

He felt Shaun nodding in affirmative and before he could supply that with a verbal request, Josh stood up signalling end of conversation. Before he left though, he turned and bid them good night with a

‘Take care Mitch’.

Unfuckingbelievable.

Day one- done finally.

* * *

What was most interesting in all of this was how some of players just came up as colours in his mind. No visuals of those unlike Austin or Becks or his father. And he was thankful for that.

While many people remained unassociated. Thank God for small mercies. He don’t think he could have coped if all of them turned out to be like his Pop and Austin and Becks. Therapy and meditation could go outta window.

He was worrying for play days though. How much he will have to concentrate on his own self and not on any individual voice. Which was impossible. But there was no way he was letting go of the chance of playing in an Ashes campaign. So he will do whatever he has to do to keep everything under wraps, nice and good.

“Hey…”

Okay so in his musings he forgot that his idiot pest of a brother was still there.

“…I didn’t mean to you know…”

Points for genuinely sounding apologetic Shaun. But what can he say. It’s done now and hopefully Josh will keep his mouth shut.

“Yeah that’s why they say to watch your words Shaun. What if…”

He couldn’t go on suddenly overcame with the fear of the ifs and buts.

“Hey...hey...look whatever will come, we will brace it. Okay? Don’t worry if there’s someone who knows how to keep their mouth shut, we can bet on Josh to do that.”

Shaun was worried too it seemed going by his facial expressions.

“I don’t want to loose this chance too Shaun. I just seem to do that only. I get chances but I can’t capitalise on them.”

In the dead of the night it’s easy to open up about your fears to someone who you know at the end of the day is in your team.

“I know.”

Shaun said quietly. Understanding everything behind those words. He has been there to experience most of it by himself too.

He put his head on his crossed knees. Not wanting to face the world. If only…

He felt Shaun move and take him in his arms. No matter how much they bicker and fight, he can’t deny that in his brother’s arms, he feels safe since they were children.

Older brother caring for the younger one. In these moments he can openly acknowledge that.

“We will be careful from now on. Okay? Don’t worry. Much. And try to sleep.”

He bid Shaun good night, hoping that he be able to sleep.

* * *

But closing his eyes, he remembered what he didn’t allowed himself to think about the entire day.

Pat. His beautiful, talented, amazing friend. Not his. But Pat who engulfed him in a big hug, who asked him how he was doing after the accident, who had told him that he was worried about him. Pat who made him feel truly welcomed. And also like a teenager with a giant crush on the popular guy of the school.

Pat whose colour made his heart stutter and come to a halt. And then engulfed him. Warm, accepting, beckoning him towards itself. It was so freaking hard to not lose it then and there. To not try and touch it, to not look like an idiot drunk on the most potent alcohol.

But he had managed to hold himself back, and answered Pat’s concerned questions about his well-being. Somehow. All the while trying not turn his focus on Pat’s colour.

Grey.

Not the grey of desolation or sadness. No.

It was grey of warmth and charm. Of magic spells and healing. Ohh shit when did he became so poetic? It wasn’t him though, the book Becks gave him, one about colours and their meaning. He had left the meaning part, focusing instead on colour description. And what to say the writer was poetic. And damn right.

His Pat’s grey was entirely opposite to what it generally is associated to. Not ‘his’, his mind supplied unhelpfully again. Yeah whatever.

Even thinking about Pat’s colour made him giddy with excitement. He wanted more of that. For himself. Preferably all the time. Which in reality was not possible. But he will take whatever is given to him. He has to.

Even the fleeting proximity that sometime being included in the national side meant, has become enough with him. He has learnt to live with a constant yearning in his heart for someone who would never be his.

He shook his head trying to dislodge the negative thoughts from his mind. His therapist has insisted that he actively try to think of something positive to help himself. So he thought of happy things.

Austin’s colours, floating and wrapping around them, Dad’s sunny yellow giving him indulging confidence, Becks magenta beckoning him on like it wanted to share a secret. And Pat’s grey.

Soft, warm, tranquil grey. Glowing a fire in his heart. Or stoking the one already there. Of yearning and want. Of passion. The muted ache of something within reach but not accessible.

He wondered what would Pat do if he knew about his new condition. Probably will tail it to world’s end, never to be back, like a sensible person.

Nobody would want to stay with a mental anyway, neither should he expect Pat to. Friendships to remain friendship should not be burdened with unusual shit. Isn’t that what James, his now ex-best friend said? He doesn’t want to lose Pat over this.

So yeah he will take the happiness of his intermittent proximity and whatever comes with it instead of ever letting him know the truth. Better that way. To have something is acceptable than to have nothing at all.

* * *

My mother said I'm too romantic  
She said, "You're dancing in the movies"  
I almost started to believe her  
Then I saw you and I knew  
Maybe it's 'cause I got a little bit older  
Maybe it's all that I've been through  
I'd like to think it's how you lean on my shoulder  
And how I see myself with you

I don't say a word  
But still, you take my breath and steal the things I know  
There you go, saving me from out of the cold


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raise your head, look in my eyes.  
and then tell me I don't love you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I found the plot bunny...probably.

* * *

He had been feeling queasy since dinner, the struggle with food continues. The party was in full flow, everyone trying to one-up each other in the amount of alcohol they can consume. His only beer bottle remained half filled.

He saw Shaun look at him inquisitively and just shot him a smile and turned to Pat who has returned from his quest to secure more beer for them both. He raised his bottle in reply to his offer.

Sweet sweet Pat, who was probably more elated than Shaun for his success in this match, who was the first one to congratulate him, the first one to hug him and dare he say reluctant to let go after that? That’s probably his alcohol induced mind playing wishful scenarios.

He smiled a bit shyly when Pat started talking, asking why is he stuck to one bottle still.

“You deserve it Mitch!”

His words were slurred, he himself falling half into Mitch’s side. Which was a nice torture in itself. With Pat’s colour already engulfing him.

Right now it was smooth like winter fog, and so welcome. Caressing him lovingly, burning his insides with wants.

“Yeah probably. But right now I’m okay like this.”

He shrugged in response, concentrating on Pat’s colour around them both.

“I’m so happy for you, you know. So happy! I know you have it in you.”

Ohhh wow. ‘So you have said multiple times Pat’, he thought.

Yes it was a truth, it seemed his achievements were a personal milestone for Pat.

His darling Pat, his precious precious friend. He was lucky to have him in his life. If only….he very acutely turned from that line of thought. No good that will do. Ever.

“I know mate. And…thank you. Means a lot.”

He replied to Pat.

The grey was now moving in slow motions, a dancer late in night, slowly beckoning the lover to come and experience it. Changing shades, ebbing and flowing like a living being.

Maye he is just partial to Pat.

Or maybe he has turned mental.

“Of course!” he sounded a bit affronted with the thank again.

“That’s what…friends are for.”

For a second he thought Pat was going to say something else other than friend but he is probably just getting drunk.

The grey around them stopped and then started moving again. For a second there too he thought as if it changed to a more dark tone. But that’s probably the lights now.

'Don’t be too poetic you stupid bum'.

“Here…here” they both registered the ruckus around them at the same time.

All of the other players were gathered around Davey who was being doused in the remaining beer available.

While some were actively involved, he saw some other just distancing themselves and laughing on the poor sod. Who was looking like a drowned rat. Better never say that out loud Mitch.

He turned his head to look at the room at large. The absolute happiness of keeping the Urn evident in every face. They were celebrating the way they have dominated and thrashed the Pommies in every game till now.

Suddenly his mind went to something else. Or someone else.

James Anderson. Fucking Jimmy of the English team whose colour he can see. Like what the fuck brain.

It doesn’t see half of his own team mates, but he can see Anderson’s colour. And to top that fuckery, he had realised after half the game was done that Anderson was not the only player he can see. The former English captain was also in that list.

‘Actually Mitch this is the information that you should take to your grave’ his brain added and he did realised no way he can ever tell this to anyone without them having a laughter attack on his expanse.

But he was a bit happy for those two. After the game finished he somehow ended up shaking hands with them together and then staying a bit in their vicinity. He liked seeing the way their colours merged into each other.

Like it was one single entity, not colours of two different people.

Anderson’s pink and Cook’s soft purple. No, not soft purple but ‘lavender’ he remembered from the book.

The colours merged and waved together, inseparable like the people they belonged to, friends or dare he say much more than that. It was known secret amongst many players in the Aussie squad. A thing known and respected, but never talked about.

Though he wondered were he to tell Anderson that his colour is so soft and gentle, unlike him, what would be his reaction. Probably not as peaceful as his colour is. He laughed internally to that.

It wasn’t as if any one has any problem either. Since their own <strike>teal</strike>, no…no…no... His name is Steve Smith.

He is not a colour. 'Dumb brain, dumb condition'.

Though he had no problem with Shaun or his mum, they remained themselves even with their colours coming to his mind when he talks to or think about them.

But somehow his brain decided that his esteemed Captain should be remembered by a colour and not his given name. He just hopes he never say it out loud.

He sighed and closed his eyes, letting the ding wash over him. He does deserve a bit of all this if he is honest to himself. He did well.

Feeling someone’s stare on him, he opened his eyes and met Shaun’s eyes looking at him again. Why is Shaun….Ohh he realised he probably was looking the way Pat was cuddled close to him and the way Mitch himself was enjoying that.

He felt a bit uncomfortable then, Shaun knew about his colossal crush on Pat though he never said anything except a ‘be careful Mitch’, probably knowing no good will come out of it.

He saw his eyebrow going up in question so just shook and lowered his head. Nothing happening. ‘Nor it will ever be’, his brain sardonically contributed.

He felt Pat humming in a low tone, getting more inebriated but he just smiled indulgently and put his head on the wall behind him, catching the grey around them, in slow motion giving him comfort, without the knowledge of the one providing it.

His heart silently broke in million pieces. So near yet so far. Unattainable, in his arms but not his. Beside him but only for a few days more. So above and beyond his league that he probably isn’t even visible from there.

His heart broke and cried.

A habit now anyway.

Suddenly all of them were listening to their captain who suggested going back to their hotel. They agreed happily enough.

He saw STEVE (not teal! Not Teal!), cuddled in Tim’s arms, the rich blue of Tim surrounding him protectively.

‘it’s Prussian Blue’...yeah whatever...give it a rest brain.

What surprised him about Tim’s colour was the intensity of it. In opposition to his laid back personality. He was quite surprised when he saw it first.

But then he saw it change shades more actively than anyone else. And somehow understood that Tim’s words were more potent than anything else about him. Especially when he had Steve around him, or in his arms, the colours were at their most attractive. He likes Tim’s colour he realised.

Yeah well. He wonders what Tim’s reaction would be if he is told that his colour is so affected by Steve’s presence?

But it felt like encroaching upon their privacy. Like something only Steve should be aware about. So he avoided Tim most of the time when <strike>teal</strike> Steve’s with him.

Detangling himself from Pat, he readied himself to go back to hotel with others. But before that he went to the washroom. To wash away the sudden sad feelings eating at his heart.

How much he wanted Pat’s comforting presence around him! Just a silent support of nonjudgmental friendship. Oh the things the heart craves for itself.

Somehow his ‘gonna take a moment’ turned into him being the last one to get on the bus. He had hope that Pat would sit with him on the journey back. Leaning into him, talking softly about anything under the sun.

But he is Mitch Marsh and he probably doesn’t deserve anything good in his life. Or someone as pure as Patrick J. Cummins.

Because Pat was sitting with Hazlewood now. Very actively dissecting some sort of bowling action. No alcoholic effect remaining.

Of course he can’t go to him, it was the fast bowling cartel, he is not allowed in that. He is Mitch Marsh, not someone good enough.

He slugged behind everyone, the last to leave the bus. Done with the day, done with being separated from Pat. Done with everything.

Sleep was not to come tonight, his heart and brain in turmoil. Wishing, yearning for something or rather someone who never would be his. A mirage, never to be true. Never to be attained. It was not for him.

* * *

* * *

It was really nice to share Mitch’s moment with him. The success that he truly deserved, silencing every doubting voice in return.

He was the first one to hug and congratulate Mitch. Even before Shaun. Which was awkward because of the way Shaun looked at him- wondering, assessing. But he didn’t say anything. He never did.

Maybe he knew that Mitch would never be interested in Pat and just sympathized with Pat’s stupid longing for his brother.

Mitch Marsh. The man he had been crushing after for how long he has forgotten now. His Mitch, the goofiest, charming, darling Mitch who has the biggest heart that he knew. No not his. Never his.

But one can hope, no?

But to be honest he was bit concerned about Mitch this time. He seemed so lost at times that it made him worried. The first day when he joined them they had hugged and talked like always, old ‘mates’ meeting after a long time.

And then he observed Mitch stopping short time after time while talking to him. Looking at him first in wonderment and then trying not to be obvious about it. He had wondered what was it all about but Mitch never said anything. He didn’t asked either, giving him the space the guy deserved it anyway, and if not from others than at least from Pat he can have that.

Though what he hoped was one time occurrence wasn’t to be so. He had been observing Mitch, ‘when you’re not anyway’ he heard that in Josh’s voice.

Ughh whatever, pest.

Mitch had been looking at Tim weird too, and then at times obviously avoiding him and Steve. He just wished whatever was going on Mitch could share it with him.

He wanted to be the one to give Mitch some comfort. Just some. Like a friend. Even today while celebrating, he chose to sit with Mitch who looked cut off and forlorn, but he couldn’t gather the courage to ask him the reason why.

Though he absolutely loved the way he fit in Mitch’s side, as if he belonged there. As if it was his rightful place to be. And the way Mitch looked at him, full of affection and fondness. If only that could be love also!

He had stuck there with Mitch, trying to convey his happiness and appreciation. And very actively trying to ignore Shaun’s sidelong glances at them, accusing him of something.

Don’t worry Shaun, it’s not your brother who is going to lose his all. It is one Patrick Cummins, not knowing when to stop.

He thought and sighed, wishing sleep to come, and not for the comfort of a strong body beside him, safe arms engulfing him with happiness and elation.

No, not that. Not for him anyway.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some days life gives you everything, other days it just takes and takes and takes some more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No beta read or anything,, so let me know if you spot any mistakes please.

* * *

After the failure of the first innings, he had left all hopes. After all he can never do anything good. The last match’s performance was a glitch that’s all. The downward shift of the team’s mood was also not helping.

But then somehow he had managed to stick it out there with <strike>Teal</strike> Smudge. And they have managed to draw the match out. Surely they would have loved to win this match too but having bagged the trophy already made them a bit comfortable with the draw.

Except for the captain, who was absent from the team shenanigans to have some sort of after match meeting.

He had watch Tim and Steve getting into a heated discussion. He guessed that Tim wanted him to stay and enjoy the celebrations before leaving but that didn’t happened. So now Tim was sitting beside him on the bench.

And he was feeling mighty uncomfortable because he had been waiting for Pat to join him there.

They all were grouped here and there in the dressing room, he could see the fast bowling cartel keeping his Pat engaged for what seemed like infinity now. Can they not discuss their bowling later?

He wondered irritably. Leave him alone for a bit. He performed well, he needs the rest.

“Don’t worry, he will come back to you only.”

He heard Tim speak who had been sitting there quietly waiting for his boyfriend to return. And wait what did he say?

“What? Who?”

He somehow knew what Tim was talking about but then also not?

“Pat, of course. Who else Mitch?”

Tim’s colour was a degree subdued while Steve was not there. Yes Steve. Thank you brain.

But still the richness of his blue somehow seemed mocking to him-‘lo, I now your secret. It isn’t that big.’

He didn’t now what to say in reply. There is no way that he will acquiesce to that. To ever concede that there is something more in him waiting for Pat.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”.

Yeah the universal signal of I’m guilty of whatever you’re accusing me off.

“You both are idiots.”

Tim’s blue was ebbing and flowing in front of him. Beautiful but mocking.

“Take it from someone who did take the initiative first, it pays off.”

‘I don’t know what are talking about Tim’.

He gave no indication of registering Tim’s words in hopes that that would show that he is not understanding whatever Tim was talking about. When in reality he did. Quite clearly. And his heart skipped a beat in hopefulness. NO.

“Hey babe.”

He raised his head to see Steve come back and join them on the bench. More like settling in Tim’s lap, wrapped by the rich blue tones, intense now.

“If you’re done being the captain, can we go now? I have a gift for you.”

He heard Tim say in quite the voice and couldn’t stop the frustrated groan from leaving him

“Guys… too much information!”

Never let it be said that Timothy Paine cannot be an ass. He knew Tim did that knowingly.

“Jealous Mitch? Maybe you can, you know go and have the talk with…ouff”.

Before he could complete the sentence, he was punched rather forcefully in his arm.

“Hey Mitch! hands off my man. Don’t break him before tonight.”

And of course he would be joined by his boyfriend.

He just looked at them.

“Ughh… you know what I really do not need to stay here.”

“I think you do. Because look who is back, our very own Pat.”

‘Why are you still speaking Tim?’ he thought hoping Pat don’t go asking too many questions to Tim.

“Ummm... Hey guys. What’s going on?”

Pat inquired in his soft voice with a small smile. Knowing Tim, he must be teasing Mitch about something.

“Nothing.”

They both spoke in unison. Thank god because he was worried that Tim might just say something in front of Pat also.

“You stay here Patty boy, I gotta go and give my man here his gift. Which is a chocolate Mitch. A chocolate.”

‘That was so lame Tim’ he tried to convey through his eyes and got a cheeky smile in response.

“And we are not going to tell you about what we are going to do tonight anyway. That would be inappropriate.”

Steve added after his boyfriend before leaving. Walking away hands wrapped around, closed off in the dark Prussian blue, protected and loved.

Mitch Marsh could just face palm himself over these two.

“So…what was that all about?”

Pat asked, while sitting beside him. Closer than normal probably because of the alcohol in his system. Anyway it was welcome.

“Nothing. Beer talks probably. They are both idiots.”

Obviously he isn’t going to tell him that Tim suggested he profess his undying love to Pat.

“They are so happy together no?”

“Yeah that they are.”

Undeniably. It’s a good thing that in this age and day they found unwavering and true love.

“I wish…”

Pat started a bit wistfully before abruptly dropping his sentence.

“Yeah…?”

He very much wanted to know what had made him sound so desirous for and if it’s in his hand he will get it to Pat at any cost.

“Nothing. Forget it.”

“Pat.”

He insisted.

“Some other time. You know I was so worried at one time that we wouldn’t be able to even draw. Also I didn’t knew that you can toil the day away in that manner.”

He added the last part jokingly.

“What are talking about? You didn’t think I would stick around for that long? Who do you think I am? Shaun?”

Everybody knew Mitch Marsh was anything but overly patient. Though being in a one sided love has been teaching him that too now. Infinite patience and resilience.

It feels good to share these sort of moments with Pat. Them alone in their own corner of the world.

“You’re…just amazing person Mitch. Truly I think no one was expecting what you did today. It was just….”

He seemed genuinely lost for words.

“You know what Pat? I think after my family and the selectors, you’re the only person with this much amount of faith in me.”

He tried for levity because otherwise he would have cried in the face of the utter conviction in him that Pat has always shown.

“Way to ruin the moment Mitch.” Pat laughed and playfully pushed at him.

He smiled in return and grabbed him by shoulders and rubbed his hair. Pat just sighed and rested his head on Mitch’s arms. Maybe he was more drunk than he had initially realised.

“Boys… time to go.”

They were interrupted out of their mood by Shaun. Who was looking at them with interest now. And in that moment Mitch knew that a ‘talk’ is in his near future.

* * *

* * *

“Mitch what are you doing?”

So Shaun had bidden his days before he could ‘talk’ with him.

“What?”

“With Pat, Mitch. You are just hurting yourself if you keep doing this. Or even him.”

“What no! How is this hurting him?”

He was genuinely confused.

“Mitch…don’t you think that this closeness that you share with him can also lead him on?”

“I wish Shaun. We all know very well that he is not interested and never will be.”

He replied in very terse tone. Wanting Shaun to end this topic. It never lead to anywhere except him hurting more and more.

What does Shaun know?

He didn’t have to fight for every single moment that he got with Becks. What does he know that how much it hurts every night when his heart yearns for togetherness of someone he can never have? What does Shaun know that how much control he exercises in Pat’s company?

Leading him on if only…heh

“Mitch I think that just for once you should have a conversation with Pat. After the series, of course.”

“About what?”

But before he could get an answer to Shaun’s idiotically cryptic talk, they were interrupted. Thankfully.

It was Josh, Gary and Pat as per programme to indulge in a game of fifa before the last match next day. They all were mostly just good enough at it but it was sort of a competition to weed out the shittiest one of the night and then use that person’s credit for coffee for the entire duration of the game.

Pre match nerves or rituals and all. It was good to share some light moments with their mates.

Tonight it was Shaun who was losing pretty badly. Only because he had become habitual of letting Austin win from him by playing badly. Too bad for his purse now.

“You know what Shaun? I don’t know why you even bother getting in between us kids anyway? Grandpa.”

Josh said, trying to make Shaun lose more of his concentration now.

“Excuse you! It’s just that I’m letting you win. No body likes your pouting sad mug.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night mate.”

“I’m just thinking about this niche coffee shop down the block. I’ve heard that they make some new sort of brew…”

Gary, low-key stoking fire as always because they all knew for the rest of the series each one of them would go to this coffee shop no matter they like the stuff or not. Shaun would just have to draw lose his proverbial purse strings.

He smiled at them, having opted out from playing, he was cheering them from sideline.

More like disturbing them by doing a running commentary. Which was wrong in details. He had taken pillows from Josh and Shaun for that but hadn’t stop until Pat looked at him pleadingly.

Yeah whatever Shaun. It wasn’t as if he could ever say no to Pat anyway. So he lowered his volume on Pat’s chances.

He was in a good mood, sitting beside Pat, bodies occasionally touching. The grey colour stirring, touching, taking him in.

He can never tire of this, getting the solace from Pat’s proximity and now his colour too. At that moment it was all tranquil and soothing.

He wanted to take as much as he can before they have to go on their separate ways after this series, no reason to be together until he gets a call up from the national side again.

The ringing silence was similar to last time Josh was there, two matches back, asking a question he dreaded the most.

It was Josh again but this time revealing a secret he dreaded the most.

“Mitch can do what?”

‘No Pat, please take the words back. Please, please, please take them back. Don’t ask this. Don’t do this to me. You don’t know what is going to happen. Please I beg you. I can’t lose you.’

His mind reeled with the silent request.

“Guys?” his question unanswered, Pat again addressed them.

“I should be going.” Josh got up and moved as quickly as his body allowed, Gary having already left.

And in moments he was alone with Pat who was looking at him questioning and impatient. Shaun was just sitting there silently, maybe equally stunned like him that how the conversation turned to this.

They had tried their best to keep it under wraps, hoping for Josh to not say anything. So much for that.

Thanks a bunch Hazlewood. But he can’t really blame him. It wasn’t as if he could’ve kept it closed forever.

He has to tell ACA sometime. But this conversation, he wanted the independence to choose the timing and environment to tell Pat. Maybe when he would have been sure that Pat would not leave him. Or maybe never.

He saw Shaun leave quietly too. He didn’t wanted him to, hoping to have someone if this turned to shit. But maybe his brother wanted to give them privacy or whatever.

“Mitch?”

He realised that Pat sounded a bit angry and looked up from his musings. Sighing he prepared himself for something he knew there will be no coming back from.

“After my accident, I have started seeing colours when people speak to me. Like their soundwaves become colourful. Dad and Austin and Becks. And then sometime some people are just colours in my brains. Like Mum and Shaun. And Steve.”

It wasn’t a description that was fully understandable but he himself didn’t properly understood the thing. He waited for Pat to digest that and ask whatever he wanted to. If he wanted to.

“You and Tim also, I can see.”

He added as an afterthought, but his panic button was pushed to the highest point and he could feel his heart rate increasing rapidly.

“Pat?” he said in small voice, the dread of what is to come, very much evident.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I just…”

“It’s been literal months now Mitch!”

“I didn’t knew how…” how to tell you something like this. How would you react? How would I function if you chose to leave my mental ass?

“You thought I wouldn’t understand? Huh? Is that what you thought of me?”

He couldn’t answer and that probably was not the good thing. The grey around them had turned dull and stagnant. Not the warm, comforting presence it had been up till now.

“I can’t believe this. You told Josh but you thought I’d what? Judge for this. I don’t even understand half of it.”

“Pat….”

He didn’t knew what he was going to say but his voice had turned to begging. He wanted to rewind time and stop Josh from even knowing about his condition.

Pat suddenly stood up, and he scampered after him, extending his hand to stop him from leaving, to give him a minute to sort out his thought and correct the situation.

But everything was truing too much. Pat’s words, his own emotions, and the constant litany of ‘you fucked up yet again’ in his brain. No matter how much he wanted, he couldn’t sort his thoughts and get the words out.

“Listen, please... I…”

But Pat interrupted him before he could finish his sentence.

“Don’t bother Mitch. Just…I wish you had some faith in our friendship at least.”

He said and then left.

Coup de grace delivered. Potent and poignant.

* * *

He came back to Mitch’s room after he saw Pat leave, face full of emotions, eyes belaying his sham composure.

He found Mitch sitting on the carpet, hugging his knees, slightly rocking and knew that he was experiencing a panic attack. Probably worse than he ever had before.

He went to get water from the kitchenette and tried to remember all the steps he had learnt on how to help someone having a panic attack.

It took him nearly an hour to get Mitch down, saying and repeating the same words again and again, hoping they get to his brother, hoping he believes them.

They were both now sitting on the floor, Mitch half in his arms, still looking forlorn, eyes stuck to some point in front of him. Some scenario that his mind was playing only for him to experience.

He could feel Mitch’s body still shivering at moments and thought of getting him under covers for time being. Any comfort that he can have.

“Am I that bad Shaun?”

He was stopped in his tracks when he heard Mitch ask him in a broken voice.

‘Ohh dear brother.’

How hard it is to do this when he had thought that Mitch probably finally had caught a break from the shitty blows of life, but no.

“Of course not Mitch…”

“Then why does it happens?”

He didn’t have any answer to this. Yeah answer him why is he tested by life so much? Time and time again. Things given but taken soon after. People. Again and gain. The same cycle repeating.

Somehow he had hoped that with Pat it would be different. Pat was an amazing friend who could have turned so much more if they could only look at each other properly and see how gone for each other were.

He had hope that in this Ashes series he would try and make them realise this with the help of friends, but alas. He got no idea what transpired in the room after he reluctantly left. He had hoped that Pat would easily enough understand but it seemed that didn’t happened.

“I don’t know why that happens Mitch. Maybe the fates think that you are the person who can take this all better than anyone else. Maybe they see you get down and back up again and again and envy that.”

He answered a bit tiredly. If only his baby brother could catch a break for real. How can one do this right way? How can one have their younger sibling ask such questions and answer satisfactorily? How can one tell them that it gets better when you are there to see that it never does for them?

“I don’t want that Shaun. I want stability in my life. I want what everyone else has too. And I work for it but why do I always come one step short. I don’t want that.”

He could feel his brother tears stain his shirt now, no answers in sight. No comfort to be given. He wished their mum or dad was here. They would know what to say or even Becks. Any of them would know how to comfort this desolate Mitch.

“Shhh. Look Mitch no one can ever say that you don’t work for things in life okay?” and if they do Shaun Marsh will fight them, probably with a bat.

“We all know how much you put your sweat and blood in every training, every match, and every practice game. You don’t always come one step short. Look what you did in this series? You were called mid-way but you delivered in both the matches. You did your absolute best and you got us results. Don’t take that away from yourself. It is your own hard work and determination.”

“..But Pat…” Mitch started and stopped, still teary.

He was interrupted in his attempt to console his brother and realised that the issue right now was probably something a bit different. He tried to change the course of his thought, to arrange them in a way to help Mitch make sense of tonight. In any way possible

“I didn’t wanted to tell him because I knew this would happen. I knew he would leave. Who would want to deal with a mental? You know James…”

“Shhh… okay listen. Alright?”

“Pat maybe behaved the way he did because it was sudden okay? Maybe he thought that you would tell him first. He doesn’t know that we didn’t really tell Josh, that it was an accident. That given the chance you’d prefer to tell him first.”

No answer came so he braved on, internally sending every obscenity to one James Martin’s way.

“You and Pat share a great friendship Mitch. And I highly doubt that Pat is a person who would leave someone for such a small issue. Maybe after we finish with this match, you can try and talk to him? This time prepared for the conversation.”

“It won’t work Shaun. Remember friendships to remain…”

“No! Mitch friendships to remain friendship need one to share things with them without holding them to actions beforehand. Alright? And please it’s high time you should stop believing that fucking stupid man.”

He said the last part with a bit of vehemence. Try as he might, Shaun Marsh can never forgive that man for truly breaking his brother in name of friendship. Sometimes he wishes that he gets just a few minutes alone with that asshole.

“C’mon, you should be comfortable. Game day tomorrow, I don’t think cramped bodies will help us.”

He stood up, raising Mitch with himself, knowing sleep will be hard for his brother tonight.

He had gotten Mitch in bed, and decided to stay for a bit, thinking on how to help him.

Probably a bit of mediation talk with Pat will help. He knew that Pat would listen to him, being a sensible person. But knowing how emotional these two were concerning each other he just hoped he can get Mitch’s concerns across in a ‘it’s no insult to you, he is just like that’ manner.

* * *

He probably would never say this, but Shaun staying with him was helpful. His heart was shattered in infinite pieces, a hurt he hadn’t known before. It seemed as if a big dark hole opened up in his chest and sucked every happiness, every good thing ever into it.

He had hoped that somehow he would be saved from this one confrontation but it wasn’t to be so. Tormenting thoughts still crowded his mind and no amount of tricks his therapist taught him worked in this moment. The agony of losing the most cherished person in his life was too much.

Sighing he opened his eyes, and saw the box on the dresser. And his heart lurched seeing it. And remembering what was inside.

Unlike Shaun, he had decided to stay with the team for the New Year’s only because Pat was also staying. Of course he couldn’t miss the chance again. They had decided that they would exchange Christmas gifts on New Year’s Eve, in person, a new beginning.

He had gotten Pat a tie of the most pretty grey colour that he could find. Just like the colour he could he see of Pat. It was costly but it didn’t mattered to him. He just wanted to see that grey colour on him in real too.

Pat liked it the way his face became happy. Though they rarely got time to dress up but he said he liked Mitch’s choice, wondering how he became good in choosing ‘apparels’ he could only laugh shyly in reply.

And then Pat went on and got him cuff links. Which was a nice coincidence and they both laughed at it, choosing same type of gifts this year again. They knew each other well.

The cuff links were still in that box that he hadn’t moved from his dresser. Because once a day he opens that box to look at them because Pat bought him something so nice and loving. They were generic in design but he liked the jade in the center. Pat had confessed that he was helped by his sister and he just laughed because he had also went to his sister for help.

The box was lying there still after he had looked at them this evening. Innocently, probably waiting for the next time the owner would open it and admire the beauty and thought that went in getting him that.

Which probably would never happen again.

* * *

He couldn’t understand what had happened, how from sharing a perfectly nice evening he went on to have a fight with Mitch which has never happened in their friendship.

He had sat near Mitch and like always in the guise of this or that, kept seeking the bodily comfort and closeness from his best friend. They had been talking about what they wanted to have as superpower if they could and then it happened.

He can’t fucking believe it! Mitch told Josh but not him.

Actually mostly he was just hurt. Immensely.

How could Mitch do that? Did he really thought that Pat would make fun of him or judge him? The hell! He didn’t even knew something like that could happen to a person. How Mitch could decide that for him or even think.

It was true everyone made fun of Mitch and gave him shit for absolutely anything no matter the team mates, or media, or public, but he never did that. How could he? Mitch was not only the person he is in love with but also his friend. The one who stuck by him in every situation

But Mitch himself thought that Pat wouldn’t do that? How could he? He suffered all this, braved it and never shared with him.

Now he understood the reason behind the weirdness of his behaviour.

It stung a lot that Josh freaking Hazlewood was aware but not him.

No sir he wasn’t given that dignity.

Why Mitch? Didn’t you have even this little faith in your own friend?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes it gets a lot worse before you can have the best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have observed, I increased the chapter count by one. Sorry for that. My job didn't allow me to completely write it all in one part so I broke it into two and posted whatever I had completed as fourth chapter. Hope you all like it. Ta

* * *

He had managed to get by in the first innings of the game. Every time Pat took a wicket, he was there with everyone else congratulating and giving hi-fis but not meeting Pat’s eyes at all.

Using Shaun as a social crutch.

He knew the team had sensed that something happened between him and Pat but nobody asked any questions or made any comment. Maybe they were all waiting for the series to end to hound them. Or maybe Shaun said something to them.

Anyway, he was happy to be left alone. Not so happy that Pat actively avoided him everywhere. It tormented him a lot. But he didn’t knew what he could do to rectify that. He did planned to talk to Pat after the match though.

If for nothing then to at least tell him that he never told Josh about his problem. He could never do that and Pat has to believe him.

He was happy for Pat that he ended up picking some crucial wickets in the first innings, and tried to convey that but he knew he ended a step short the way Pat didn’t even smiled in his way in return.

He had felt Shaun squeezing his hand, out of the eyes of everyone else. A bit of brotherly love if a camera catches.

Closing his eyes, he rested his head on the back of the seat, knowing tonight again he won’t be able to sleep. He was exhausted so the temptation of taking the help of a sleeping pill seemed better than braving things on and performing poorly in the game next day.

There was excited chatter in the bus, everyone alive with the prospect of clean sweeping the Pommies at home.

Ussie and Steve had started the day and both played well and somehow they ended the day with him and Shaun on the crease. Ussie being the star of the day.

They had all gathered and celebrated him in the dressing room after the game, without alcohol of course. The only other acceptable thing to do was to lather Ussie with cakes which they did. The guy deserved all the recognition, finally showing his capabilities. Mitch Marsh wasn’t the only one to justify his inclusion in the team.

He turned to see Ussie sharing a seat with Mitch Starc and that was something spelling trouble.

If Mitch Starc was the troublemaker of the team then Usman Khawaja was the kid who encourages the heckler from the sidelines. One was openly notorious, the other as they all were coming to realise, was the same just with a persona of being polite.

They all have been on the receiving end of one too many pranks from him to believe it anymore.

He suddenly remembered what had happened when he was preparing to join his brother after Ussie got out. He was all padded and ready to leave when his eyes searched for one person who hadn’t bothered talking to him since last two days.

He wanted Pat to tell him ‘good luck’ like always. Somehow for him, a good luck wish from Pat Cummins meant a lot more than any other preparation.

But Pat was nowhere to be seen, and he walked out of the dressing room a bit dejected. His life, nothing good ever to be for him.

He was met halfway out, with Tim and Steve who both wished him luck, and he could see the sympathy in Tim’s eyes. He didn’t wanted to though. So he just nodded his head in acknowledgement and patted Ussie who was on his way in.

And then he stayed together with Shaun on the field till the end of the day’s play. He knew that he probably won’t be able to do much on the fourth day but he wanted to be with Shaun when he got his much deserved century. It will be awesome to share that there on the field. So he hoped for something positive for his brother and kept his fingers crossed.

* * *

Said brother was sitting beside him, busy now in a video chat with Austin who was very excitedly telling his father about the trip to the beach with his grandpa.

His heart skipped a beat listening to his nephew’s voice, wanting to wrap him in his arms and forget about everything else and enjoy the genuine happiness of a two year old for whom Uncle Mitch was the best.

He also got roped into the conversation when Austin wanted to know what his uncle is getting for him before coming home. Though he couldn’t see Austin’s colour physically, he imagined it there with him, enveloping him with the joy that Austin was sharing with them.

A minute of calmness in his turbulent life.

To say that Shaun was worried about Mitch would be putting it mildly. Of course it was his younger brother and he was always worried about him, comes with the territory.

But these past two days, his worry was heightened the way Mitch seemed to be moving in a limbo. Though he was present enough with everything going around him but in a detached way. Living but not experiencing.

There was no way that he could ask his wife for help because that would mean not only Becks but their Mum, Dad and Sis would also be worried. Because none of them can ever forget the crash and burn Mitch went through just a year back. Though he can ask Becks to keep it under wraps but that was how Mitch suffered the last time so he highly doubted that she would listen to him before roping in all the help around them.

The entire team knew something had happened between Pat and his brother and he was caught in an awkward place. Not knowing how to answer the verbal and nonverbal questions coming his way about it.

There is no way he will ever disclose anything, anyway. It was bad enough as it is that Josh knew and couldn’t control his tongue in front of the very person he really should have.

Everyone asked him except Steve, who probably was more riddled with the match then the love life of his team mates. And then there was Tim.

Tim who had been observing Pat and Mitch with interest the past two days and then delivered his verdict today- ‘lock them in a cupboard. They’ll thank you later.’

Which seemed like a good idea in all honesty but he wanted things to proceed towards a positive completion. He didn’t wanted to be murdered by his own brother or wife, who was a bit touchy when it came to Mitch asking for her help, which he probably would if he wants to murder someone and hide the body.

Jesus! Where the hell his mind digressed to. He laughed internally at his musings and sighed. For tonight his plan was to catch Pat up and talk to him properly.

He does not like to see either of them suffering because of a bit of misunderstanding. And he knew very well that without intervention the two idiots would not talk at all. Also he had to tell Pat that it was his fault that Josh knew about Mitch’s problem in the first place.

Had he kept his mouth shut, his brother wouldn’t be suffering so much. And that had smarted him a lot. Being the reason for his brother’s suffering. However much he can tease and try to make Mitch’s life hell, at the end of the day, he was his little brother, the first one in his team.

So yeah, mission for tonight: help Pat understand that Mitch is not in fault. And that they both should talk like adults.

* * *

After every wicket, his eyes searched for Mitch first. Of course who else other than him. But the break in their friendship severed all connection in matter of days it seemed. Mitch congratulated him but he never met his eyes.

He didn’t knew how to proceed either. It was awkward and confusing. Their unbreakable friendship and understanding was doused like an old fire. Both of them left wondering what to do with the remains.

He felt a bit vindicated on the first day when he saw Mitch slouched and withdrawn in his shell but that feeling didn’t remained for long. Three days into the game and he was feeling pretty stupid for blowing off like the way he did.

He could have been a bit more patient, it’s Mitchell Marsh, the guy is known for making stupid decisions but at that moment he felt cheated out of their friendship.

Something so big and he was the last to know just because Mitch thought he would be judged. Didn’t he thought that same thing when he told Josh freaking Hazlewood? What was the guarantee that Josh hadn’t told Starcy? Those two shared everything.

He was sitting with his headphones jammed on, signaling ‘not in the mood.’ Everyone was busy with their own things anyway and giving them both a wide berth. He saw Shaun and Mitch, sitting together diagonally opposite to him.

It pained him to see Mitch look so miserable. He had thought that batting the day out with his own brother might have cheered him but it seemed that has rather taken a toll on him. Though he had already been looking cast down past two days so there was that.

Mitch’s eyes were closed, hands clasped tightly together. Pat could see that his body was loose but the way his jaw was clenched, belied the fact that there was any ease there.

His heart wanted to put everything aside and go and take Mitch in his arms. To tell him that he understands and to clear off the misery that Mitch was exuding so loudly from his body language.

Maybe after the match ends, he can try and talk to Mitch and clear the air off. He can’t leave his friend like that. The friendship was important to him no matter Mitch being an idiot. Also he didn’t wanted to be another asshole friend to desert Mitch in midst of chaos.

Just, he wanted to first come to terms with his own emotions about the whole thing, about feeling betrayed. Hopefully after the match he can talk to Mitch and they be able to move on.

* * *

He had left Mitch’s room with a parting request that he try to sleep, even though he knew that that would be a big difficulty for his brother.

And then like a man on a mission, he went and knocked at the door of Pat’s room, hoping that there was no one else there. Pat received him genially enough which was a good start, though the surprise was very evident.

“I think I need to clear the air about a few things, Pat.”

He started without any fanfare, better to get done with this as soon as possible.

“You do?” Pat asked a little bewildered.

Of course it came as a curve ball that Shaun was getting involved in his and Mitch’s fight. But whatever. He wanted to hear what he had to say anyway.

“Yes. And I think you know about what.”

He answered with raised eyebrows, not wanting to start from ground up. Pat just nodded in return.

“Just, before anything else, let me tell you that we never told Josh about Mitch’s problem, Pat. You know him well, you know that he would never tell anyone anything before telling you first.”

Pat wasn’t looking at him but Shaun knew that he agreed the way his lips were graced with a small smile. It was true obviously, Mitch had to tell everything to him first. Not even Shaun.

But then Pat raised his head and even before he could open his mouth, Shaun knew what the question would be, so answered without being asked.

“It was my fault actually.” God, it felt so stupid now.

“I somehow managed to put my foot in my mouth and blurted out that Mitch became more stupid with his new condition.”

“He is not stupid Shaun!” he heard Pat say, offended.

And he wanted to laugh badly. These two, they have fought but Pat has to defend his friend. But he just smiled and let Pat continue.

“So Josh just knew accidentally?” Pat’s words were coloured with relief.

“Yes. We thought that he wouldn’t tell anyone. And he didn’t, not even Starcy. But then he went on to spew it out in front of you.”

He stopped for a moment, trying to form his thoughts in a way that would clear Pat’s confusions and questions and also have Mitch not be the bad guy in Pat’s eyes.

“He of course would have told you first. I guess after the series ended. Don’t you guys have a trekking plan? Probably there he would have gathered the courage.”

He himself had a plan to make them talk so telling Pat this didn’t seemed far stretched.

“He would’ve?”

He couldn’t understand whether Pat really wanted to wonder out loud so he just shrugged.

“Look Pat, it was really hard for him to face another setback just before an Ashes call up. And that has kept him from telling anyone. Even ACA. Only we family members knew.”

He remembered when they got to know that Mitch was in an accident. His first thought was ‘dumb brother’.

But when he saw the fear on Mitch’s face after he first thought that he probably had lost his rocks, seeing things, which had Shaun scared for some time too. His mode of dealing with it all was to make it all seem small by cracking as much jokes as possible.

“Shaun?”

Pat called his name, breaking his reverie. He sighed and gave him a small smile.

“It was hard Pat and believe me when I say that there were moments when he himself probably wanted your company but fears kept him back. I know it is very stupid that he thought you would ever judge him for this but you have to understand where those fears stemmed from. You do know about…”

“Fuck!”

“Pat?”

He couldn’t understand the reason for the outburst. But then it clicked. Pat had forgotten about James. Well that does explain a lot of things now. He felt that now thongs wouldn’t be so hard to sort out. They probably are gonna clear up by themselves.

“So, I take it you had forgotten about all that?”

“Ohh God, Shaun. How could I? I said to Mitch that he didn’t had faith in our friendship when it’s entirely different thing. And then I’ve been hating him for this also.”

He let Pat let it all out, and then patted him on the back in commiseration. It was understandable as far as he was concerned.

“Don’t worry now. It’s done. But you both need to talk. Learn about his condition, it’s pretty fascinating to be honest. Don’t tell him that I said so.”

“He would hate me Shaun! I hurt him like that asshole.”

In that moment Pat was feeling like the biggest idiot in the history of existence. How could he go and hurt Mitch like this.

“Don’t blow yourself over for this Pat. Just don’t let this small misunderstanding ruin the beautiful relationship you share with Mitch. It’s far too precious for that. Also don’t worry, he would easily enough forgive you. He loves you far too much to stay mad at you for even a moment.”

He had been listening to Shaun’s words, taking solace, that man knew his brother. But first he said relationship and then love? And he couldn’t stop himself from asking out loud-

“Mitch loves me?”

“As much as that should have been obvious, but wasn’t, yes Pat my brother is madly in love with you.”

He said sighing rather dramatically. So what? he is a Marsh after all and it felt good to rub this in Pat’s oblivious face.

“Huh…” and that man was still shocked. Ugh.

“You know no one can believe how both of you can go around with giant heart eyes around each other and not see it by yourselves.”

“It’s that obvious?”

“Yeah. Cringy and nauseating as well.”

“Ohh fuck off Shaun.”

Pat said, red faced now.

He laughed openly then, secured in the knowledge that he had helped both these oblivious stupids as per his might. Hopefully they can move on forward easily now.

He stood up to go, leaving pat to figure out a few things on his own. He turned at door for some more parting words-

“He is an idiot Pat, but he needs you in his life. He would never say it to you but you make him better, your presence made his life better and that’s a truth you should be certain about. Also falling for you is the most intelligent thing that he did in his life, in my opinion.”

He added the last part as joke. A true one though.

* * *

The talk with Shaun was illuminating to say the least. He wasn’t expecting to know about Mitch’s romantic interest in him. His brain condition was confusing enough as is.

But knowing that Mitch Marsh probably loves him as much as he loves Mitch back was good. That gave him a boost of confidence.

He gotta apologise to Mitch a lot, for assuming things himself. For thinking that he put Josh first and not him. But he was also confident that he will be able to make amends and move forward.

And he also has to confess his love now and get Mitch to confess in return. That would be an interesting thing.

He wanted to go and talk to Mitch that very night but remembering that they were in the middle of the game which was hanging in balance, dampened his excitement a bit.

He can’t go and disturb Mitch like that. Maybe in the innings break he will talk. And before that he can use time to learn about his condition as much as possible. He intends to be there for Mitch so he has to.

Tomorrow he will try and talk, given they keep their strong grip on the match intact. He also hoped that Mitch gets to make significant amount of runs to solidify his position in the test side.

He also has to wish him before Mitch goes out on the field. He couldn’t today and the entire time Mitch was out there he felt bad about missing on doing that. It didn’t helped that Tim and Steve looked at him weirdly when he came back in the dressing room to find Mitch gone and looked around in confusion.

Tomorrow he has to do a lot. Not just game wise but also about his and Mitch’s relationship.

He could imagine Starcy and Josh giving him smirks on ‘relationship’- ‘took you long enough to accept’.

Yeah whatever.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The culmination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhhh!!!! exact feeling.  
I don't know how this entire fic happened! I mean One day I am sitting there and get suddenly hit by an idea. An insane one but then I went on and wrote a 16k plus words fic inside one week, which is as bewildering and funny as it sounds.  
Enjoy the last part of this Universe's #Pitch, because I might come back to this pairing later.

* * *

He was preparing to go out on the crease with Shaun, walking through the member’s area corridor, when he heard someone jogging towards them. He hoped that it wasn’t <strike>Teal</strike> Steve with another slew of tips for them, poor guy needs a rest.

And he came face to face with Pat.

Who was slightly breathless and looking a bit uncomfortable? Or was it something else? Before his mind could process it all and be sure, Pat spoke up.

“Good luck out there Mitch. You…you can do it again.”

Huh. Before he can formulate a reply, Pat turned and left, and he stood there bewildered.

“Mitch, now.”

He, still in same trance, turned to Shaun who was trying to suppress his smile, looking pleased as a punch. ‘What did you do Shaun’ he wondered internally. But there was no time to ask those questions.

They bumped their fists, he got a pat on his helmet from Shaun and out they walked.

* * *

He couldn’t believe his insane luck. He was able to share Shaun’s moment there with him. And not only that, he made another century.

With Shaun at the crease accompanying him. It was mind blowing, to be truthful. Making another century, giving invaluable contribution three matches in a row now.

Their celebration was wild (and a bit stupid) and a lot emotional too, for them both. But it was a great achievement as Shaun kept repeating, hugging him close.

He promptly lost his wicket after.

Which was bummer but then their first innings lead was considerable and if the pundits were to be believed quite insurmountable. They all believed and hope for that to turn true. It was now in the hands of the bowlers.

Talking of which, he turned his eyes in search for his friend. What had happened before he left needed some explanation and they weren’t able to talk after he came back, Pat having left with the fast bowling cartel for practice in the indoor gym. Which was stupid but they all were probably waiting to take some wickets after their innings gets declared.

With Steve declaring their innings, there was flurry of movements in the dressing room. They all seemed to come alive at the same time. Except Steve who was already puttering around anxiously.

Though right now he was standing with Tim, talking in hushed tones. Maybe Tim was trying his best to calm their captain down, being the only one to have any kind of idea how to do so. He could see faint outlines of Tim’s colour surrounding those two. Care and love. From one to the other.

He and Shaun have collected applause and praise from all their mates, which was nice. They were all happy with the efforts and the assurance of win that seemed very likely now. Pat was also in that, congratulating and then squeezing his hand lightly.

And Mitch Marsh was set ablaze with that contact. And Pat’s colour which in its all lively glory covered him for a moment before others started talking and interrupted whatever more could’ve happened.

At least that’s what he hoped for. That something more would have happened, going by the look in Pat’s eyes, but now he has to wait till whenever Pat comes back to it. If he comes back to it. Perhaps it was all his brain playing tricks on him.

He went to the washroom to wash away his thoughts, before they had to go out for second innings of the English team.

He wasn’t expecting to meet Pat, coming back.

“Hey…Mitch…hi…”

Pat addressed him first, albeit a bit awkwardly.

He kept looking at him, not knowing what to say. He just wanted to soak this moment up. For two days he was deprived of Pat’s close proximity. And the warmth and peace of his colour.

“We need to talk. About…your condition.”

He was so busy taking everything in, that he couldn’t reply anything intelligible at first.

“Huh…yeah. Yeah…of course. I wanted to too. After the match probably...yeah.”

He did managed to get his words out properly at the end.

“Okay then. Tonight I’ll…”

‘‘Everyone time to beat the Pommies asses now. Let’s go.’’

Before Pat could finish his thought, they were interrupted again, now with the call up to leave.

Their little corner breached, they both smiled shyly at each other before stepping in the dressing room to join others, conversation left half finished. They will be able to do so tonight, they both hoped.

They were at the last in the lineup, behind everyone else. Before they stepped on the field, Pat once more grabbed his attention.

“You did so well today Mitch. I’m proud of you.”

And he couldn’t keep his eyes from tearing up a little. Three days he waited for Pat to talk to him and finally they are but what an inopportune time!

“Okay love birds, continue this at the hotel.”

Shaun was suddenly there with a shit eating grin. And pushed them to move forward and join the team huddle.

* * *

He was a bit worried if he was to be honest with himself. Though the way Pat was with him today, things were turning to be good now but he couldn’t help the anxiety racking his brain. He went for the calming exercises he knew were more fruitful than others.

‘What’s the first happy memory he has? What happened that day? What was the weather like? So on so forth.

‘When he got his first bicycle. He was happy beyond belief. His Dad and Shaun were there to help him get on and ride it. It was their old place with a big backyard and…’

The loud knock on the door broke in his thoughts and looking at the time, he realised that he successfully managed to quell his anxiety.

With increased heart beats, he opened the door, Pat standing on the other side. He looked as if he had showered before coming here. And he was looking good in the blue t-shirt he was wearing. Very good actually.

“Hey…can I come in?”

Pat asked, trying to cover his smile in the face of Mitch’s dare he say, open admiration. Now that he knows about Mitch’s feelings for himself, things were very obvious.

“Oh…yeah…sure. Of course. Sorry, I was just…”

He stuttered and moved away from the door to let Pat in, and closing the door after him. He had paused because the way Pat’s colour welcomed him, warm and beckoning as always.

For a moment they were both awkwardly looking at each other trying to come up with a way to proceed with the evening.

He heard Pat sign and then chuckle a little.

“Shit, what’s wrong…we never were like this. C’mon let’s sit down, then we can talk.”

The grey moved like soft music tones, rippling playfully.

It was true that even when they had their arguments it never was this clichédly awkward. Hearing Pat, he shrugged and went on the sit in the bed.

Pat, instead of sitting on the chair, joined him on the bed. It wasn’t as if it was something out of the blue. They did sit together a lot.

So now he was sitting with his back on the headboard, legs spread in front, ankles crossed, consciously.

And Pat was sitting facing him in his usual way, legs folded and his hands hugging them. He kept looking at Pat, the way he looked so innocent and gorgeous sitting there.

It took him a bit of time to notice Pat’s eyes on himself, his eyebrows raised slightly. Probably freaking out because of the way he was being ogled.

“Erhmm…”

Mitch didn’t knew what to say more. He could feel his face turning like a tomato, and felt a bit embarrassed.

“Tell me about it.”

He looked up in surprise hearing that, no ready answer in sight.

The grey had moved and covered him too now, caressing soothingly.

“I have read about it a bit. But I want to know it from you.”

Pat wasn’t looking at him and he, feeling uneasy tried to pull his legs up, to create some space.

But before he could, Pat moved his hand and caught his ankle in a light hold. He still wasn’t looking at Mitch.

“Tell me, please. From the start.”

His thumb was moving slowly back and forth on his ankle. Giving silent support and encouragement.

Taking it all in, he closed his eyes, though he wanted to keep looking at Pat and the colour surrounding them. Gathering his thoughts, he tried to explain it to Pat in way that would be understandable.

“After my accident, something happened in my brain. Take it as, some wires got crossed and this thing started where when some people speak I see colours with their words, or with some my brain just comes up with colour. Like everyone became colour coded. No longer people with names, but are now with colours. The doctor said it happens in head injuries. Thankfully it wasn’t something more serious.”

“Mitch you said it was a minor accident!”

He heard Pat say in a shocked voice, his face nearly pale and the hand on his ankle, forcefully holding it now.

Oops. He did tell Pat that it was no big deal. Partly because he didn’t wanted to worry him and partly because he didn’t wanted to tell anyone about it. His family had to know, others didn’t. Though it retrospection not telling Pat seemed liked a stupid mistake now.

“I could’ve come.”

Pat said a bit sadly, thumb resuming its back and forth movement. He seemingly accepted that.

“That’s why. I didn’t wanted to worry you. I know had I told you, you would have come but I didn’t wanted you to leave everything and come take care of my stupid situation.”

He answered, finally opening his eyes. The monochromatic grey around him was as lively as ever, ebbing and flowing in continuous movements.

“Mitch.”

Pat said in the same warning tone he used whenever he felt that Mitch was being unnecessarily hard on himself.

“It’s not stupid. It’s actually very interesting.”

“You’re saying it just because.”

He replied, turning his head to look at the window and the undisturbed world outside.

He heard Pat give a soft laugh before speaking again.

“Tell me more.”

It was as if he was on a mission to fill up all the gaps with the things he missed, things that Mitch has neglected to tell him. So he did.

He told him about Austin’s orange pink colour, like the sky at sunset, rich with happiness. He told him about the magenta of his sister in law, about his Pop’s warm glowing yellow. He told him how when his mum talks all he can sometime think about is the colour red, fierce and bold.

He talked and talked, relying the wonderment he never showed anyone, not even his family. His mum was right, he would come to love it. And he did. He loved the colours around the people he loved the most. A secret that was for only him.

Suddenly he realised that Pat was looking at him paused in his movements, and he felt the excitement turn into nervousness. He didn’t wanted to make Pat uncomfortable with it and...

“Wow…you. God! You love it, don’t you? And something that make you so happy, must be very good.”

Pat said, looking at him with unreserved fondness.

“Uhm…yeah.”

He didn’t know what to say.

“What about me? You can see my colour, no?”

“How do…?”

“The first day, the way you looked at me…now I know why. Tell me?”

He reiterated his request.

“It’s grey.”

“Grey? That’s very bland.”

“What? No...no. it the most beautiful I’ve ever seen. You have to believe me. It so good Pat. Just like you. It’s lovely and it moves so gracefully, and…”

In his excitement, he had crossed half the bed to be near Pat and have him believe that his colour was the most exquisite thing.

“Yeah?”

Pat asked, hope and wonder both in his voice.

“Yes! It’s different Pat. And it makes me happy too.” He said the last part a bit shyly.

“I hope so, Mitch.”

This time, his hands moved as if in slow motion to touch Mitch’s face. A reverent, soaking the love.

“Pat…?”

“Mitchell Marsh, I love you.”

“Uhh.”

Two people suspended in the moment, waiting for a monumental shift in their life to happen. Waiting with baited breath and excitement.

“As much as that should have been obvious, if others are to be believed. But I never thought that you’d…so yeah…fuck…That was not how I wanted to tell ya…”

“You love me Pat?...as in Love me?”

He was still astonished. This can’t be true. No way is his life turning to all good like this.

“Yes. Come here.”

Pat replied, and then opened his arms.

Not waiting for another second more, he hastened to wrap himself in Pat’s arms, heart beating violently, the few minutes still a shocking dream.

“Pat…I…love you too.” He mumbled in Pat’s neck, not wanting to leave this space anytime soon.

“Ohh…thank God. I thought you wouldn’t say it back and I’d have to rewind the conversation somehow.”

He replied jokingly. This wasn’t how he imagined the night going, but it was a lot better. They talked like proper adults. There are things that he has yet to learn about Mitch’s condition but he is sure that with time he will.

His hands kept moving absent mindedly on Mitch’s body. It felt good to stake claim on it finally. The man himself still had his head hidden in Pat’s chest, hands circled around.

Both of them taking their fill of each other.

“Mitch…?”

“Yeahh?”

“I’d like to kiss you now.”

A pause and then,

“I’d like that too.”

He did raised his head to look at Pat, face dusted with red colour, a bashful expression on it.

The hand on his back moved to hold the side of his face, an expression of absolute intent on Pat. Before he could notice any more of the beauty of the man in front of him, he was being dragged forward and kissed.

It wasn’t as if it was his first kiss, far from it. But it was his first with a man he had been wanting to kiss since a long time. It was a feeling of homecoming. Of love and belonging. Of rightness. He felt like a parched man reaching an oasis.

And it didn’t help that Mitch went complete loose in his hold, totally gone in the moment. Though his hands were still clutching Pat’s body tightly, he had given the reign of the kiss to Pat.

It was few long minutes before they stopped, both breathless.

“Wow.”

He heard Pat say in the small space between them, the grey dancing swiftly around them. He didn’t had anything to say, just wondering how kissing a person could be such a life turning event. He felt as if his world stopped, turned the other side, and has started moving doubly fast.

“Stay?”

Mitch asked in a small voice, a lot of unsaid requests and meanings behind that one word.

“Always.”

The answered was given with a kiss. And he heard Mitch moan quiet loudly, which it appeared surprised him as much as it did Pat.

It was unfortunate that they still had one more day of the game left, so they silently decided that they’d just go to sleep.

Sleep came easy to them both, a peace that covered their heart and soul, lying in each other’s arms.

* * *

He had been avoiding Shaun since the moment he got spotted leaving Mitch’s room. He very nearly was able to leave without anyone being any wiser about his night stay there. Alas for Shaun, who had been giving him smirks since the moment they got in the bus.

Though in a very unlike Marsh fashion, he was not giving any shit to his brother which was a bit unsettling. This bode for a big trouble at a later time when both him and Mitch would be least expecting anything. Oh well, he will see whatever comes.

“Sleep well last night, Patty?”

He suppressed his groan. They were getting off from the bus when he heard Shaun behind him. He was waiting for Mitch to go in together but forgot that Shaun was there too.

“I hope you did, going by the relaxed…”

“Shaun!”

They both heard Mitch say in a slightly distressed and horrified voice. What was that about?

“No one knows.” He tried to remind his brother, who had missed their team manager and assistant standing there. Thankfully their little exchange was in low tones.

But Shaun just shrugged and rubbed his brother’s hair playfully, before walking away from there.

“Relaxed, I say. Very relaxed.”

Shaun Marsh likes to have the last words where his brother is concerned.

They both could just look on in helplessness realizing that by the end of the day, their team would know. Sheesh…

“Let’s go. Big day today.”

He felt Mitch touch his lower back and push him to walk inside, towards the dressing room.

* * *

It was kind of pandemonium. They have not only retained the Urn but they clean swept the Pommies, which was of course always a dream come true.

They were all hugging and congratulating each other, secure in the fact that for the next two years, the Ashes Urn was theirs’.

After the customary handshakes with the English team, a lap of honour around the SCG, and the presentations, they were free to go and be wild in their dressing room.

<strike>Teal </strike>Steve as predicted got the player of the series award and he could see Tim beaming uncontrollably all the time his boyfriend was on the podium, and he laughed at the man’s obviousness. Which in hindsight was not fair because when Pat got the player of the match award, he was the loudest one in cheering. And that had made some of his mates look at him suggestively.

There were all pleasantly buzzed now, having consumed quite a lot of beers in celebration. He was sitting with Pat on the floor close together, trying to click selfies in Pat’s phone, making as many silly faces as possible when suddenly the whole room went quiet. And then-

“We take it you both are done with your lovers tiff, and have made up?”

Every single person in the room was looking at them, some trying to suppress their smile, some openly smirking at their discomfort. Thank you Usman. Of course he being the only sober one amongst them would bring this.

He looked at Ussie but in return only got a very innocent smile back. Not falling for that.

“Quite well if your performance was to go by Patty.”

The laughter that followed Gary’s word was the indication that for the rest of the night they won’t be getting any respite from their mates.

“Yeah…Okay we are good now. What of it…”

Pat tried to shake them off from their case by agreeing to it. Wrong move though.

“Being touchy are we Patty?”

‘shut up Davey.’

“What was it all about anyway? You guys never behaved like that.”

Steve’s words were genuinely curious and concerned. So he was aware of what was going around. Probably just chose to wait it out till the end of the series. But he had no plan of telling them all just then. He wanted to talk to ACA first. So he looked to turn the conversation in different direction.

“Ohh by the way we are happy for you two. I mean now we won’t have to think about locking you two up in a cupboard.”

“Or banging your heads so you could see the obvious.” This time Bangers said in low voice, sniggering.

So they all were fed up of the mutual oblivious pining.

“Oh look who is talking about being oblivious idiots in love.”

Davey’s target very efficiently turned towards Steve now. He was thankful for it. The man as the stories go had to bear the most of his team mate’s long distance pinning.

“Ohh fuck off Davey.” Steve replied face going full red.

He could see Tim shaking his head fondly at his boyfriend. They both were gearing up to leave, probably because they were staying at Steve’s place rather than at the team hotel.

Maybe one day he will tell them about their colours, how Tim’s rich blue is so affected by Steve, how it seems as lively as they two are when together. Maybe one day he will tell Tim about how his unspoken feelings and emotions for Steve are absolutely evident in his colour. Maybe that’s how he perceives them, but it still looks lovely.

“Hey…where do you go to?”

He heard Pat nudge him playfully, sensing his far off thoughts.

“Are you two gonna be as disgusting as Smudge and Timmy?”

It was Starcy this time. How did he manage to stay quiet till then was a wonder.

“Hey…”

both Pat and Tim said at the same time.

“Says you mate. The moment Alyssa is anywhere near you, you are gone. So shut up.”

He decide to jump in the conversation. And anyway it was true, Mitch Starc was the most disgusting of them all when it came to be enamoured by their better half. If Alyssa is there then nothing else existed for Starcy.

They all laughed at that, in agreement.

“Shut up. She is awesome.”

He shook his head. This man.

“That she is. That’s why we wonder how you scored so above your league.”

Shaun said, eyes shining with mirth.

“The way you got Rebecca, Shaun.”

Starc shot back, knowing he hit the spot. But Shaun just raised his bottle, seemingly in agreement.

They all laughed at that. Two men, totally head over heels for their better halves without any shame. Refreshing to see.

* * *

They had been inching to leave the dressing room unnoticed, the way everyone’s attention had turned to ribbing Mitch Starc and Shaun.

Slipping out quietly, they both laughed together. It was good being happy together. Sharing this with everyone. He realised that his team mates were probably worried about them in their own way.

“Where are we going?”

He asked Pat who had taken his hand in his own and was leading him like a man on mission.

“Ohh…umm…I know a place where…”

“Patrick J. Cummins are you saying what I think you are saying?”

“Idiot…”

“Oyi…”

“But you are my idiot, Mitch.”

Pat dragged him close and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

“Also it depends a lot on what you are thinking…” he said in a suggestive voice.

“Oh who would have thought that nicest guy of the Aussie team could be so…”

But before he could complete his sentence, they both heard footsteps and moved to have a bit of distance between themselves. No need to provide unnecessary fodder to media.

But they shouldn’t have worried. It was two members of the English side. They had though that all of them must have left but these two probably were the last ones to leave, going by their demeanours.

Cook and Anderson. The latter of which gave them quite the disgusting hateful stare. But Cook as per his reputation, stopped to wish them. Anderson just grunted like a caveman. And once more he was struck by the oddity of this pair. Cook must be a saint to bear this Cro-Magnon. He suppressed his smile quite valiantly on that term.

He also saw how both their colours were still the same way. Intertwined. Where one ended and the other started was hard to distinguish. It was not a thing to say out loud probably, but he was actually happy for these two.

Same way he was happy for his own captain. Finding true companionship was hard for them all. This game takes a lot from them in terms of private life.

He and Pat chatted for a bit with Cook, seeing the way the man went out of the way to talk to them. While Anderson stood apart, mighty disinterested look on his face. Probably aware of his boyfriend’s discomfort, Cook wrapped the conversation soon.

Wishing them good night and good luck, and with a ‘see you in the next Ashes’, he pushed Pat towards the exit to the ground. Also he remembered the direction their conversation was going before they got interrupted.

For a second he turned to look at the two departing figures, walking close together, hands touching but not daring to hold out in the open, surrounded by soft pink and lavender hues. He silently wished them all the luck with the relationship and life.

Turning to Pat, holding hands now, he raised his eyebrows and said in deep low tone-

“You were saying about a place…”

* * *

Fire on fire would normally kill us  
With this much desire, together, we're winners  
They say that we're out of control and some say we're sinners  
But don't let them ruin our beautiful rhythms  
'Cause when you unfold me and tell me you love me  
And look in my eyes  
You are perfection, my only direction  
It's fire on fire, oh, oh  
It's fire on fire

**Author's Note:**

> ehhh... so this pretty much is dedicated to my friend. who loves colours and paints as much as Tim Paine loves his zooper doopers.  
pretty sure no such book exists that describes colours so poetically...only because she hasn't written it yet!  
what I mean to say that some of the descriptions are her's which i absolutely love and had to include...shhh


End file.
